Post by punio on Dec 11, 2014 15:09:29 GMT -5
f i n c h p a w
need to know
» number: one
» clan: ShadowClan
» age: 10 moons.
» gender: female
» rank: apprentice
» status: healthy
» mentor/apprentice: who kno
» camp: rebel camp
» description: Small calico torbie she-cat with green eyes.
deeper
Finchpaw's gait is usually tentative at best. When in direct sunlight or in someone else's view, she looks as though she's constantly toeing some invisible line, stopping frequently and whipping her head about to search for disapproving looks. It's all very reminiscent of her namesake's quick, staccato hops, and though her voice is rather soft and high-pitched, she definitely lacks the singing abilities that real finches have. In the shadows, however, all of Finchpaw's hesitance seems to melt away into the darkness she prowls in with confidence and ease. Every ShadowClan cat has adopted the dark, but Finchpaw was born into it, moulded by it - and it shows.
Unfortunately, these moments are very rare indeed. Already, the shadows of doubt and despair have begun creeping into her eyes, dulling them and making them appear unspeakably sad. It's a shame, really - Finchpaw has the potential to be as beautiful as her mother, but her own crippling insecurities hold her back.
» personality: anxious. insecure. passive aggressive. bitter. resentful.
Some cats are destined for greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.
Finchpaw is not one of them.
Finchpaw is a cat that struggles to excel and barely manages to achieve mediocrity. Whether it's a self-fulfilling prophecy or pure self-deprecation, Finchpaw is rather average and uninspiring when it comes to hunting, fighting, and other useful skills. She tries her best, she really does - but her best simply isn't good enough. It's not good enough for her mother, who strives for greatness in all her kits, and it certainly isn't good enough for ShadowClan, a clan known for its ambitious members. Perhaps it's hardly surprising that she ranks among one of the many cats that joined the rebel faction.
It's not for any reason as noble as denouncing outdated traditions, however. Her motives are entirely selfish and cowardly: she did it in order to please Hazelstorm and remain with her family, who she feels fiercely loyal to despite her propensity to feel jealous and resentful around them. Her hatred of StarClan arose out of similar reasons - if they did not go silent and leave the other clans to their plight, the schism would not have happened, and she still would've remained home, creeping through her favourite shadows.
She's always been weak-willed and easily persuaded; Finchpaw will do anything if it means garnering approval. As a she-cat who loathes her own existence, she wants - no, needs validation and approval from others, to the point where she willingly allows herself to become a doormat if it gives her (false) friends in the process. Her eagerness to please borders on desperation, and it often unintentionally has the effect of driving people further away, creating a rather nasty cycle of clinginess and feelings of inadequacy.
And yet despite the lack of agency, despite the feelings of hopelessness and despondency that threaten to engulf her small body, Finchpaw still continues to hold hope in others, no matter how many times they get dashed. She truly wants to see the best in people, even when they continue to disappoint her. And this hope, fragile as it may be, may prove to be her saving grace.
» background: Finchkit was only 2 moons when the Battle of the Fourtrees broke out. She didn't really remember much - only the feeling of her brother reassuringly nestled against her, with her mother's tail wrapped protectively around the both of them, untouched by the horrors of war.
She likes that memory; it's one of her favourites. Everything was so simple, then.
Everything was so simple before the schism. StarClan may have gone silent, but the noise in ShadowClan was deafening. What started as heated whispers and minor disagreements erupted into a crisis of faith. After all, why believe in StarClan's return when the sky wept no tears of remorse over the fallen, when their ancestors did nothing to bring an end to the chaos and destruction they wrought by their inaction?
Hazelstorm was the leader of the insurgency, and was always outspoken in her views. StarClan was a relic of the past, as was the Code that had guided them all their lives. In order to survive in the wake of the Silence of StarClan, they needed to break free from the chains of tradition. With these ideas in mind, Hazelstorm abandoned ShadowClan, taking other rebels with her. If Shrikestar and his lot wanted to cling to the old ways, that was their choice; she and her followers were about to enter a brave new world.
They set up camp in the Highstones. The cave is small and cramped, and there aren't as many shadows as there was back home. It's supposedly a temporary arrangement, but Finchpaw misses the marsh and the burnt sycamore terribly. It almost feels like she's betraying the cause whenever she edges near ShadowClan territory during fits of homesickness, but her loyalty to Hazelstorm and her family is unwavering.
For now, she's uneasily accepted the status quo, content with training as an apprentice with her brother Larkpaw at her side. But with everything in a constant state of change, who knows how long that will last?[/ul]
immediate kin
extended kin
» mother: Kestrelflower
» brothers: Falcontail, Sparrowflight, Larkpaw, Toadkit, Turtlekit
» sisters: Hazelstorm (adopted), Duskfang,
[/ul]